Your kids are your life. Since the first time you heard their heartbeat on the ultrasound, your priorities shifted, and you made a promise to give them the best possible life for them. Come hell or high water, you tried your best to honor that promise. But at what cost to you?
You unconsciously skip all the sections dedicated to women and zero in on the kid’s area when you go to the shops. Buying new clothes and toys for them because of the promises you made in the beginning. Back at home, you distribute the bags of new purchases between your munchkins, and their faces light up while they take it out. Later while sipping your coffee, yes, you have the warm feeling of providing for your kids, but then you remember fudge! I forgot to buy myself some new jeans. The very reason why you needed to go to the shop, and you shoved your needs into the backseat. No more! You need to make your mommy time a priority.
Why Is Mommy Time Important?
Simply put, you are human too. You need attention and care. Yes, your kids are your responsibility, and you are doing a fantastic job raising them. But you are not a machine. Even machines need maintenance. And unlike your kids, no one will take care of you except for yourself. So Mommy time is the few hours a month or week (your choice) you need to dedicate to yourself to recharge your batteries.
If you don’t give yourself that break, you will burn out. Burnouts can vary from just getting sick like a cold to a full-blown crash in your system. After the Motherly’s 2021 State of Motherhood survey, 93% of the participating mothers felt burned out. That’s a staggering 7 points more than 2020, and a shocking 16% confessed that they feel burned out all the time.
Before you reach the stages of burnout, grab your diary and start looking at your calendar. Decide which days will be best, in between the playdates, soccer practice, and piano lessons. With some rescheduling and shuffling, you will see that you can have a few hours off for yourself. If need be, call other moms and find out if it’s possible if they can help with the mommy taxi duty, you will return the favor, of course. Then the fun part, what to do with your mommy time?
There are a plethora of things and activities to do. Many of which you have neglected since your reason for living came into the world. It’s time to reconnect with these activities.
Mommy Deserves To Be Pampered
When last did you get a massage? Is your body aching just thinking about how long it’s been since the tension has been rubbed out from your shoulders? If you are feeling bad about taking time away from your family to do this, stop. You are doing this to benefit your family. Massages not only reduce stress, pain, tension, and muscle soreness. It increases your alertness, energy and improves your circulation. Not to mention it’s good for your heart as it lowers blood pressure and your heart rate.
Book yourself a sauna session. You will clean your pores and glands from toxins and impurities by sweating. This will cause less acne, pimples, and blackheads which increases healthier skin. Other advantages include improving your heart health, reduced depression and stress, and the increased boost in your immune system.
Your face takes the most strain during your endless mommy duty days. All the facial expressions it goes through in a day, and even the sweat wiped off by the back of your hand. Reward your skin by getting a facial. Getting one done will relax facial muscles and also slow down the signs of wrinkles. Lymphatic drainage and blood circulation are promoted because of the well-deserved massage involved. And let’s not forget that it clears clogged pores and removes dead skin cells, but also it quenches your parched skin at the same time.
Bring Mommy Back To Life
Dig out a picture taken before you had kids and compare it to how you look now. Are you sighing and wondering where that woman went? It’s time to bring her back.
Starting from the top, when last did you set foot in a hair salon? Or just had a quick blowout? Are you really growing your hair out as you are telling other people, or is it that you don’t have time to go get it cut? Book your hair appointment for your first mommy time. Try something new while you are at it. How about a feather cut with black and blue tips? While waiting for your appointment, flip a bit through a few hairstyles and coloring ideas on your phone. You will see that a lot has changed and new techniques came about. Ask your stylist what is bronde hair or ombre if you’re not sure.
You might not want to wear as heavy make-up as you did when you were younger, and that is fine. But, just to lose that rust, because it’s been a while since you even put on some mascara, go and ask a consultant by the beauty section what they recommend you use. Your skin tone has changed, and the old colors you’re used to will not work anymore.
Manicures and pedicures are both a pamper session and aid in bringing back your old self. Did you really always have chipped, nude, short nails all your life? It’s also an amazing way to express yourself with the funky colors and designs you can add. Make sure that your appointments are recurring.
And finally, your clothes and accessories need an update. Baggy jeans and T-shirts are functional, especially when you’re busy with house chores, but does it make you feel like the yummy mommy you are? Again, there is skilled assistance you can ask, without feeling embarrassed, for help and suggestions on an outfit or two.
Mommy Club
Are you craving grown-up conversation? Joining clubs will satisfy your craving and get you connected with other people with the same interests that you. Do your research well about available clubs in your area.
Sit and really think about what interests you the most? What are your hobbies, besides your munchkins? If you don’t have any at the moment, think back to the time before the kids. What really got you enthusiastic?
Book and garden clubs are the classics. There are always multiple groups available who will gladly take on another member.
Or start your own club. This doesn’t have to do anything with your hobbies or interest, but rather with reconnecting. Sure, you do see your friends at the PTA meetings and the Saturday barbeque, but your attention is always split between them and the kids. So make dates with your friends. It doesn’t have to be girls’ nights. It can even be afternoons or mornings. Drinking and clubbing don’t have to be the focal point, although a martini never goes amiss. Each friend can set up the itinerary for a specific mommy time date and make it fun for the group.
A Change Is As Good As A Holiday
Making changes in your personal life, no matter how small, can rejuvenate you. Make sure the changes you want to take on are for yourself and no one else. Be selfish.
Small changes can be a change in your lipstick color or even just buying yourself some lipstick if you don’t have any. Or buying yourself a proper handbag since you don’t have one anymore, thank you multifunctional nappy bag.
Medium changes can be anything from starting to learn a new instrument, going to a baking class, blogging (because of the time and effort behind this, it’s bigger than a small change), painting, or even participating in a local sport.
Big changes require more planning and even input or help from your partner and other parties. You can decide to upskill yourself by doing a course in a direction you have always fantasized about. The wonderful thing about the modern times that we live in is that you don’t need to attend classes in person to get your certificate. Online courses have opened up a world of possibilities for mommies worldwide to get the degrees they want. You can even decide to work on the mommy body you want by joining a gym and getting a personal trainer. Be realistic in your expectations when you set a goal like this. Rome was not built in a day, and your body did bring other humans into this world.
Whatever you do to fill your mommy time, make sure that it’s something that will make you happy and you are doing it for yourself. You are constantly thinking about others (small humans or even your partner), but this is your time. Your few hours in your week or month that you deserve to be selfish and take care of yourself.
